Resolution

It has been almost a year since I have posted on this blog. A lot has happened, of which I will not bore you with a recap. I will say, however, that I have learned a lot. The last year has been filled with long-term assignments in 6th, 7th, and 8th grade levels in one of the most challenging schools in Southern California.

The most valuable lesson, I am almost ashamed to say, I learned only a few days ago. I am working with children. Yes, this sounds amazingly simple - almost idiotic. However, I must reiterate, that the school I am at has its unique challenges. I have been cursed at, hit, broken up brawls, and witnessed jaw-dropping behavior by some of our students. Students who are in gangs, have been abused themselves, and have already started to repeat the cycle. In this environment, sometimes we forget that we are dealing with children because they exhibit such adult behavior. Somehow, when in the years that I have been working at these schools, I forgot, and I have recently been reminded.

I am currently working with a beautiful group of trying 6th graders. I adore them. But I was given this class after they successfully sent their teacher on stress leave and ran off a number of substitute teachers. They are creative, and determined when they want to be. They are full of attitudes, which I am convinced could help them in the future. And they have worked my nerves in ways that I did not know was possible.

I recently went on a trip to New York. While getting on a train, I saw a women carrying a bag that said something like, "God created a creature with great patience and compassion and called them a Teacher." I am paraphrasing because I don't remember exactly what the bag said - I only saw it for a second, but the importance of that statement hit me. I am a substitute teacher, but to my kids, I am a teacher. I am what they have right now, and, fortunately or unfortunately, they don't have another option. That trip allowed me to return to my class, even more determined. And even after the particularly hard day we had recently, I have been reminded that these are children. They have been entrusted to me. It may seem cliche, but I don't have the luxury of becoming hardened. I remember my 6th grade teacher and the things she taught me. She was excellent, and I would hate for these children to look back at their 6th grade years and think anything differently. And children do childish things. They will do what they feel they can get away with. And I can't expect them to do any different.

I don't know if I am being clear, and maybe my revelation is all my own, but it helped me...

The year is quickly coming to a close, and with all the layoffs and budget cuts, I am not sure that I will be working in the fall. But I am determined to work hard. After all, I have been trusted with young minds and it is an awesome responsibility.